1. |
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i was pushed off the ledge
by the thoughts in my head
by the rocks in my lungs
by the things that i said
when i meant something else
by the cracks in my shell
by the distance i fell
by the seed within myself
im not awake
im not at home
and i will not pick up the phone
the town is dead
the wind is sweet
and all the people are asleep
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2. |
chain saw
01:45
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i wish i had a chain saw to cut the devil out of me
cuz everyone that lives here loves everything about me
spine with scything blades
carve into my face
this hate and shame and pain
youre running through a field of grain
theres no escape
mask of ugly light
stupid suicide
denied tonight despite the devil dream you call your guide
your hands are ice
catastrophe
strange hands grabbing me
im in a dark room no identity
im gonna die
oh god whats happening
catastrophe
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3. |
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born in a psychosocial cage
with a smile on my face
the nighttime was too cold
in the daytime it just rained
on my personal parade
found a stray cat in sixth grade
it tied me to a chair
and put vomit in my brain
i will never be enough i will never be
i will never be enough
for the people that i love
ill never be okay
i feel it every day
drowned all the way through junior high
and the cat gouged out my eyes
then high school was a pit
lay in bed and prayed to die
but i made it to the end
even kept a couple friends
but they all moved out to mars
and im sleeping on a bench
now im dying on a bench
now im dying in your
i will never be enough
my heart is full of fuck
im dying on a bench
im dying in your head
please just forget me when im gone
shake your head and then move on
i made a funny joke
i wrote a shitty song
and thats all i fucking had
inside me so dont feel bad
ill see you at the end
when the skies fill up with black
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4. |
whistle
02:07
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shoot me in the brain hit me right between the eyes
its gonna take a whole lot more than that to make me die
i will never rest i wont ever fall asleep
but the sky is black and tempting and these scars are old and deep
i dont know when i hit the limit
put the gun in your mouth and whistle
stepping on a songbird
drown me in the sink carve a novel in my face
its gonna take much more than that to put me in a grave
i am not afraid and thats why i will live again
and i dont have to get over what a mess my life has been
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5. |
freak
03:14
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every time that i try to be me
i see horrible things in my head i cant breathe
i keep biting my tongue and its starting to bleed
i hope no one can tell that im a freak
everyone knows that im a freak
ill stay at home and try to sleep
everyone knows that im a
i want to love myself but we cant get everything we want
decaying mental health makes me feel like a ghost without a mansion or a plot of land to haunt
i finally closed my eyes dreamed i was drowning in the depths
choking and sinking while im clutching at my throat im screaming out but no ones showing up to help
i took myself too far now no one wants to be my friend
cant even play guitar but here i am creating shitty music with computer instruments
my eyes are open now skin caked in slime and grease and sweat
the sour fills my mouth and makes me say the shit that im afraid to ever let out of my head
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6. |
personal heat death
03:44
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walk toward the south pole
drip blood from my mouth hole
and hope for the best
but i know its over
i wonder if the ice will turn my corpse
into a headstone
surrounded by red snow
the answer is of course
my bones are bending
the stress of pretending
this isnt the end
and with every step
i can taste another fragment of my skull
i vomit brain cells
and oh does the pain swell
i feel the pull
walk toward the south pole
drip blood from my mouth hole
and hope for the best
but i know its over
i wonder if the ice will turn my corpse
into a headstone
surrounded by red snow
i stay the course
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7. |
dont wanna play
02:38
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i dont wanna go down swinging
i wanna die with a shit eating grin
alone in my bed with an angels hands around my throat
been fucked since the beginning
redrum on my arms in lipstick
im trying to vanish in the folds of my coat
this light is fading fast from here
while i masturbate away this year
will i feel better tomorrow
cant i feel better tomorrow
i dont wanna play this fucking game
i roll the dice and feel the same
the light is fading
i dont wanna play this fucking game
i spin the wheel and feel the same
the light is fading
always been a little autistic
faces are goddamn cryptic
i see my surroundings through a prism of hurt
thats right im a full blown dipshit
in a dark room reaching for kismet
im a fucked up worm in a corpses eye in the dirt
why the fuck am i still writing about me
im pretty sure my art would be much better without me
infecting my music with all of my problems
its not therapeutic its just fucking obnoxious
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8. |
take my life (please!)
03:08
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ive got 9 us dollars burning a fucking hole in my sweatpants pocket
dont look at me like i dont belong
ill be here until my livers gone
so just shut up and get in line
ive got a lot of people to tell that i feel fine
ive got zero fucking dollars i feel like dogshit i wont go see the doctor
he looks at me like i dont belong
i know hes right where has the real me gone
the windows shut but i feel a breeze
i wrote a joke it goes like
take my life please
i dont even know what im doing here
i wanna go home i said i wanna go home now
take me out
put me in a box
throw away the key put a textbook on top yeah
im a shadow a motherfucking asshole
im in an abattoir i know that im cattle
wheres the knife hand me the knife
look me in the eye when you take my fucking life man
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9. |
eyeless by slipknot
00:32
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10. |
ugly
03:03
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theres something rotting inside this heart of mine
this time im not sure that things will turn out fine
swirling self loathing im drowning in my sleep
i pray the devil my ugly soul to keep
i hit the ground and went to hell
do you know if i jumped or fell
caustic subversion within these shallow dreams
a thousand years of a friendship turns to steam
i want to search for a meaning in the snow
did i jump did i fall oh my god
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11. |
needle in ur eye
02:23
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i heard you were saying dumb shit
thats so fucking no way really
i had no idea that you were wow no kidding
i dont give a fuck
i dont care
i heard something something something
youre so fucking i dont give a
i i im the needle in your eye eye eye
im gonna make you fucking cry cry
i will be there when you die die die
i wanna be your last goodbye bye bye
im the needle in your eye eye eye
ill follow you into the sky sky
im the needle in your eye eye eye
and i will be there when you die
someone said you talk about me
i hope that you ha ha funny
i will never self reflect on oh my goodness
im a piece of shit
i dont care
im a piece of shit
i resent my past profoundly
youre so fucking im a piece of
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12. |
slasher (ft anna)
04:06
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and i wait and i wait and i wait
its like a whirlpool of nothing when i avoid the things i hate
but that wont stop me
ill get old and ill get worse and ill lose weight
until im nothing but a particle of ash
lost in space
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13. |
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i was pushed off the ledge
by the thoughts in my head
by the rocks in my lungs
by the things that i said
when i meant something else
by the cracks in my shell
by the distance i fell
by the seed within myself
im not awake
im not at home
and i will not pick up the phone
the town is dead
the wind is sweet
and all the people
i missed the bus
its fucking cold
and all my friends are getting older
without me
without me
and nobody that lives here likes a single thing about me
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